To start off with, she gave me breakfast in bed this morning. After I started eating it, it dawned on me that she had made this for herself and wanted me to try it, so she gave it to me as breakfast in bed, knowing I would not be awake enough to refuse. She has been trying to get me to try her apples and onions that she makes with her eggs. I have been resisting, because I don't care for onions in my cooked apples. (Can we say ick!) Well, I didn't realize they had onions in them till I tasted them. (Ack, patoy, spit it out!) The rest of the meal was nice though, so I thanked her, and said you tricked me. So No I don't like onions in my apples. She smiled and said "Oh, ok just wanted you to try them and see."
It is obvious that her hearing is coming back, because I don't have to yell at her any more. When I do start to raise my voice, she embarrassingly scrunches up, and tells me to shush, that I don't have to yell at her.
On this day we were going to do our biweekly grocery shopping trip. As we were driving around Muskegon lake, through down town, I was struck with the idea to take her on a little drive along the lake shore so she can see the lakes (Lake Muskegon and Lake Michigan) in the winter. They are very impressive with the way water gradually freezes out into the lake. It is such a slow process that the waves splash over the gradually freezing water and builds up, like glashiers that stick out of the frozen tundra.
It was a mostly cloudy day, with the sun peeking through breaks in the dark clouds, like God himself was giving us a personal spiritual moment. It was breath taking (and me without my camera!). So I got out my cell phone and took 3 pics, while we sat and just looked at the magnificence of the moment. We are going to go back when it gets a bit warmer (preferably in the 20's at least) so we can get out and walk a bit without freezing. She asked me if this is what Antarctica looks like? I just laughed, "I wouldn't know Mom, but I could send you there to find out." (Too funny)
Our shopping trip took forever, because she didn't want us to go our seperate ways and meet back up at the door (like usual). As she said "Oh I am not getting much so I will just grab it as we go by.) There is NO JUST GRABBING with her. She stands there and stares for at least 10 minutes (I timed her) trying to figure out which one of many choices to get. She does this on everything she buys. Next time I am splitting up, it may take me a while to find her when I am done shopping, but at least I am not standing there staring at her while she stands there and stares at the merchandise.
Have a Good Day.
I realized yet again that my mother needs professional help with her depression. I came to this conclusion a couple times before, but I was young and unsure of myself, so even though I saw this back then, I doubted my conclusion. But as I have gotten older and more confident with myself, I have, come to the same conclusion, even with more conviction than in the past. How do I adjust to this? Do I make her go see a theripist , even thought she is kicking an screeming and won't listen to them. Others have said she needs to be put in a home, because she is crazy. I think she just needs to forgive herself for not being perfect, and just acept the love of her family. She needs to realize that she is missing out on her rich family life and love. She is consumed with, making her mark, or the obesssion of money. I realize she wants to help her family and that is admerable, but it has taken on a different tone. One that takes in the simple possetion of money.
I cna't be her psyciotrist, she needs someone who is trained for depth of drepression and issues.
I drop her off at the door and park the car. When I get into the store, she is no where to be seen. We have a rule that we go our separate ways to shop and meet up back at the door, waiting till the other shows up.
So her being gone is fine, and I go about my shopping. Well, I finish (have not seen hide nor hair of her), check out and go to the door, she is not there. So I wait for a while, and then just go and put my groceries away in the car and come back in. (Thinking that by the time I do all this she will be done.)
I have a cart load of groceries, and it took me a little while to get them all in the car. So when I get back in the store she is still not there yet. So I have to go look the store for her to nudge her along. Well as I am walking through the store my pants keep falling down some cause they are stretched out. I have this real nice leather coat on with fax fur lining. Well as nice as this coat is and warm, it always takes whatever shirt I have on, and twisted it around my body and eventually taking my shirt and twisting it up around my neck and under my arms.
So here I am, looking for this little 4'9", 83 year old, feisty woman, and my pants are falling down and my shirt is riding up. At one point I had to go to the bathroom to adjust myself cause my tummy was getting cold.
When I finally find her she is walking towards the check out and has 5 things in her basket. I just can't see how she can take so long to pick out an item. She has told me that she is a person that likes to wonder around the store just looking at all the neat stuff. I can't do that or the store would be at my house and I would be going through bankruptcy.
If they have eaten a life time of processed white pasta, fatty meats, tuns of sugar, and the such, then they probably have digestive problems, heart burn, large bellies, compromised immune systems, diabetes, just to name a few.
Water with lemon every morning (for some reason they tend to not drink enough water and the lemon cleans the liver and has vitamin C), a big salad each day, vegetables and fruits for snacks (especially berries of all kinds). This should be their primary diet, supplemented with palm size meat once a day. Morning eggs are fine if their diet regiment allows. Whole wheat breads with a fiber content of at least 3 grams to one slice of bread.
There are vegi burgers that I have found, that many elderly like. Do them up just like a regular burgers. Very tasty!
Instead of sugar, find a natural sweetener like Stevia or Xylitol, both are very good and easy to use. They don't harm you, and are completely safe to use.
If they can make these changes and stick to them for the most part, they will have an improvement in their health. (Providing they are not allergic to any of the suggestions made here)
Since she has come to live with us, it has been a challenge for her and I to declare who the dominant female will be, but it is my house, so we all know who won that one, and her advice will be noted and sometimes taken.
Over time she has become more dependant on me and has become more childlike in her actions. She is a very inpatient about everything, from getting better from illness, waiting for dinner, anything she decides she needs or wants she has little patients with waiting till I have time to get to her.She has a lot of other physicological issues that she is dealing with as well.
As a Holistic Health Practitioner and as a person who overcame many health issues, I have a good understanding of the issues that come up when you have a parent move in with you, for what ever reason.
I am here if you would like to talk. It is good to do so, it helps relieve stress, and I don't know about you, but, my mother can create quite a bit of stress for me.
Look forward to hearing from someone. Bless All
- Current Location:home
- Current Mood: hopeful